Hello all you Asheron’s Call (AC) fans/players out there! This is intended to be a bi-weekly column on AC. For those few out there who do not know who I am, I am Asetti the all powerful, all knowing, all doing, all ______ (fill in the blank) 44^th order four school war mage on Thistle is down... uhm Thistledown, and sometimes gimped unarmed warrior Galvin. I have been playing AC for about 8 months and love the hell out of it (thank you Turbine). I have some issues with some changes, policies, and procedures of Turbine/MS and fully intend to rant on these occasionally. If you are not an AC player, then some of the stuff I will discuss may not make sense:

The Virindi takeover of AB and the transformation of the vendors to Named Virindi have caused the introduction of a new quest: The Quiditty Orb. This is a great item for four schoolers. Arcane has to be 200 and man conversion 200. Quest level restrictions are 20-35 as Asetti found out when he tried to use the portal after killing the northern drudge.

Confused yet??? Any AC players out there would have no trouble following the meaning. On the other hand my mind tends to wander and I may tie into real-world issues:

So I’m fighting in Metos and I see a character with the name Free Tibet. WTF? So I ask him: "Pardon me my good freedom fighter, but whom are you trying to get free from?"

Free Tibet’s reply "Communism."

"So then Russia?"

Free Tibet, "They are not Communist anymore." "Well actually they never really were. So then, not Russia, then who?"

"Go away."

"Just so you know, there were attempts to free Tibet from China. The Dhami Lama was a religious/political movement for this purpose. But, Tibet is rightfully owned by China according to international law/treaties. And actually Tibet is allowed pretty liberal autonomy for an elitist type government like China. I personally do not like the Chinese government, but they do hold the title.

As a former/current member of the Armed Forces, I do not appreciate other countries holding our sailors as spies. The EP-3 is not a spy plane; it is a surveillance plane, which was flying in international waters when that non-flying idiot Chinese pilot caused the collision by hot-dogging. I have ridden in a P-3 (different version of the same plane) and I can guarantee it is not maneuverable enough to ram a jet fighter, even if it wanted it to. The Chinese regularly steal US secrets and also do the exact same type of monitoring, so the whole. "Oh the US is so bad for spying on other countries," routine is horse pucky. They not only steal out military secrets, they also steal our industrial secrets. They are the single biggest black market software/music/movies/etc pirate vendor in the world, (well maybe after NAPSTER for the music thing-still not sure where I stand on that one)."

About that time he logged. Can’t imagine why. Ah, well. One less person to contend with for kills.

Wow, I really did wander on that one.

I truly dislike stupid people. If you are going to have a platform at least know what it is, what it means, and at least some basic information about it. Some non-AC people would understand the previous. Some AC people probably don’t have a clue.

Seems like the hottest topic in AC right now is the change in the economy.

I have been involved in several discussions on the topic. Seems like a lot of people (or a small, very vocal group of people) do not like what Turbine did to the Buy/Sell rates within the game. OH MY GOD, their money runs have been nerfed. They were making millions of pyreals a day by doing this and now they can’t. One bright fellow went as far as to suggest Turbine hire a Macroeconomist because they were too stupid to understand how a "real"> economy works. Don’t know about you, but I’d rather them hire a code writer/content developer and add some more quests/monster/items or, my top one, a bank. I heard numerous complaints whining about not having enough money to buy spell components/mana stones.

I recently tied to BSD, for about four days and have been killing tuskers. I needed some quick levels to get to 45 so I can check out Aerlinthe Island. I really want one of those T-shirts. And every hallway is littered with junk. My buffs began to wear out, so I decided to run around a pick up everything worth 1,000 pyreals or more. After 5 minutes of this, I’m at 258% burden (that’s with Strength VI with a base strength of 118). Of course at that moment my Imp VI/Blud VI gives out on my robe and lo and behold tree tuskers spawn. I am convinced that AC critters have a seventh sense called buff wear off. Not that it matters there were three; it only took one hit, even with full health of 156. So I dropped like 7 of the items I had picked up. I went to the GW armory and sold everything I had pick up. Wow 78,000 pyreals. That’s a D note and an @fillcomps at the mage. After I recovered and sold the other stuff I dropped, the total was around 90K. And you’re trying to tell me you can’t live with this. True it is not 1,000,000 in five minutes, but if your burning comps faster than you can buy them, you need to go talk to a micro economist on fiscal responsibility.

Having never been to BSD until a few nights ago, when I received a /tell from my patron about hunting there, I was somewhat skeptical. All I had read about it were posts about power leveling in BSD and the stigma attached to it. But, what the hell? So I run through a buffing cycle leaving off fire/acid/pierce/blade/lightning protects thinking, "Hey its only tuskers."

What my beloved patron failed to mention is he wanted to hunt the Virindi Master and his servants at the bottom. They are surrounded by a horde (that means more than 20 too me) of Drudge Raveners and Stalkers. Ok, so I died pretty quick-hello Life Stone. Can you say chain cast? It was somewhat upsetting to get a /f from my now not so beloved patron, "What happened?  You were only here for 3 seconds." How do you type ttthhhhppppptttt? So I go through another buffing cycle, this including afore mentioned spells and head back.

Here is the key to that part of the dungeon. Run like hell straight through and there is a ramp that goes up, and up, and up; picture Gandalf climbing the stairs after the Balrog. Then there is a U-turn where you can lose most of the critters and then pick them off a few at a time. It was about 130 am by now and BSD was pretty deserted. So anyone who has hunted there knows what happens when you run through BSD. It is called a train with me as the engine and a helluvalotta pissed off tuskers as my boxcars. I run through the bottom room and up the ramp. Oops, I forgot to tell my patron I was coming. I would have like to see his face as I come up the ramp with 20+ Tusker Guards on my six. Where’s that damn * (screenshot) key when you need it? Next thing I hear is: Little Jo’s body is crushed into next morning thaw by the power of the tusker’s blow. Oops. So I send a /f, "What I happened? I was only here for 3 seconds." He got back and we ended up netting a couple of singularity keys and a Virindi wand and all was forgiven. By the way, the only way I survived was LS recall.

Actually the hottest topic is now the fact that Turbine is releasing an expansion pack to AC. It is going to include a new land with GASP houses. And within these houses; BIGGER GASP secure storage!!! I have heard a pretty mixed reaction to this news. At first I have to admit I groaned, "Another UO." But depending on how this is handled it might not be a bad thing. Assuming (big assumption) this update will not adversely affect the lag situation (yes people it can get worse) and they are not the dominant feature of the new island. And new critters no more lugians and tuskers and olthoi oh my. Couple of thing that made me go hmmmmm. Can you store no-drop no-give stuff in your house? If your PK, can another pk come in and kill you? Are the houses sold to individuals or accounts? Can you have a monarchy house? How much will they be? (better start saving those M notes)? Do I really want to see a REMAX agent as an NPC? Is the thief now a viable character? If it is, if they break in can I, as a non-pk, kick their butt (Make my pk law). Can I buy an in ground mana pool for my back yard? (OK that one was really bad.) Side note: Now I understand why they nerfed the money run.

I do not understand the complaint about paying $10 for the update. And the fact that it is optional really should keep people from whining. Ah well, some people are not happy unless they have something to complain about.

Why is it I always die 2 minutes before I’m going to go to bed? Is this some subconscious reaction to the thought of quitting for the night? I can’t quit now I have to go fight 15 liches, 8 Iron golems, 12 Revenants (That is at Metos, if you are interested) to get my bod. Well now that I’m here and buffed, maybe one more spawn. The Revenant melts you body into a consistent pudding like substance. DOH! I can’t quit now I have to go fight 15 liches, 8 Iron golems, 12 Revenants (That is at Metos, if you are interested) to get my bod. Well now that I’m here and buffed, maybe one more spawn. Repeat until my wife wakes up and say, "WTF are you still doing up. It’s 2/3/4 in the morning." "But honey, I died and have to get my body." "Ok, but I don’t want to hear you complaining tomorrow when you have to get up." "Yes, dear"

Flash to next morning: What the hell was I thinking? Ok no AC tonight I’m just gonna go right to bed. Yea, right. Repeat above.

One of the quests I’m currently working on (well was working on) is/was the Heiromancer’s armor. I wander into Heiromancer’s Hall (near Teth) and head down a hall. Its pretty late, so no one is hear. I kill one banderling and I’m thinking, hey this isn’t to bad. All of a sudden I round a corner and my radar is full of angry red blips. I have no idea what was in the room, golems of some sort and its hello Life Stone. I pull up one of the quest guides. And see what monsters to expect. Then I pull up ACMonster (What? No more updates!! COD is dead??!! Nooooooo!!!)(26 June update: Rumor has it COD will be back) and actually look up the critters located there. Let’s see uhm level 148, 250, 321, uh, maybe I’ll make a few levels before I try this one again. But what about my bod? After dying three more times trying to get my bod. I decided the 18,000 pyreals, 2 platinum scarabs, 1 gold scarab and some junk I had picked up really weren’t worth it, but I did get to kill the Banderling again.

Steps on soapbox

I’m going to end on a serious note here. So if you don’t like that, stop reading. In my monarchy discussion board a couple of weeks ago I got into a discussion/argument about certain player’s actions. This part is convoluted so bear with me. A previous monarchy member had one of our current members post a complaint about the actions of one of our member’s subjects who are under that person’s different character monarchy. Hope that made sense, but is has little bearing on the story. This high level previous member had high vitae and went to GW prison to work it off using his Atlan Claw with Major Smoldering Stone where the two members of the other monarchy, one high level who was twinking the other low level character. So this dude comes roaring in and starts monopolizing the Lich area - very uncool. So the high level guy, who was before only buffing and vuln-ing, starts killing everything giving this guy no chance. I whole-heartedly agree with this part of what the high level did.

Hope you enjoyed my column. Constructive criticism appreciated. Non-constructive criticism will go the way of all the porno, debt consolidation, and you have won... E-mails I get.

Feel free to e-mail to me at: assetti@hotmail.com.    Now you didn’t think I was going to give you my REAL address did you? I check this one daily, but my wife doesn’t see it so send any dirty pictures here (oops wrong forum) - hehe.