smallchristina.gif (3796 bytes) CHRISTINA
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The Online Firearms Comic
New Comic for June 15th!!

We say bad words on this site.... consider yourself warned.

JUNE 17th 2001 - No Updates today
There will be no update today.  No I'm not slacking off... I haven't even logged onto AO since I got home from work three hours ago.  So far we've put the finishing touches on the v2.0 page layout and I've been converting the old pages to the new format.  This is taking a few hours folks, and while I love this site, I don't get paid for it, so the news is taking a back seat until Monday (so I can sleep and eat).

But on Monday we should have a wonderful world of our crap for you people to explore!!   It may take a day or so for all the new features to be implemented, but our Interviews will be ready, as will our newspost and many other things.  If you want a sneak peek at our modest upgrade for the site, plus a snippet of our interview with Maggie the Jackcat, click here.

Overall the new layout is cleaner, and isn't too much harder to work with.  As a bonus I think it will enable us to regulate the traffic to the site to allow visitors to get a look at the whole page, not just the linked section they came in on.  I'd like to use some java to brighten up the links a bit, but that's beyond my basic knowledge.   If you have some nice links to java apps, you can email me here... it would be much appreciated.

I'll see you all on Monday! (fenris)


Well well well, with Fenris asleep, it looks like I, Stryker will add some more tidbits to help out.

First off, I have to admit, fenris has been very hard at work on V2.0 of the site, he hasn't even had time to steal any of my food or drink booze so you know he's busy at work.

Regarding fenris' Boobology about PVP's Jade, I have a theory of my own, which I ran by him in the wee hours of the morning.  I believe that Jade is pregnant!  What else could explain this 70% increase in boob size (yes I did the measuring and the math)   Either that or perhaps she is wearing some new bra, or Scott Kurtz just wants Jade to have larger breasts.   We are calling you out on this one Kurtz, well cause we just can't call you......stupid restraining order.......

We shall have a new Friendly Fire for you folks tomorrow, and this episode will feature the one, the only, the French assassin, The Decoy!  What devilish plans will this French accent, English speaking friend have to say?

Stryker out, and back to AO......


JUNE 16th 2001 - Just not a whole helluva lot to say...
I don't think it needs saying but yes, we played AO today.  This is not news, so we'll leave it at that.  Other than Tomb Raider opening today (which I missed because of work), I'd have to say little happened today to raise my interest.   Well, let's see what we got...

Anarchy Updates
Just some random notes from AO.  Ghin is level 13, Drzaius is 11... we're hanging around Tyr right now, leveling up and enjoying the sturdier servers.

-The Radar repair missions still do not work to the best of my knowledge, and now a few missions have become bugged to a point where you cannot even enter the mission "dungeon".

-Funcom has a link to where you can download the beta client in parts now.  Handy.  Click here to see it.

-The stress test is today at 10pm GMT.  Happy lagging to all.

-Funcom had this press release concerning their Beta website:

Dear testers!
I would like to inform you that we are working on a new community site for Anarchy Online. We plan to close this beta tester site Monday 18th June. The new community site is under development and expected to be operational very soon. Please visit and the new bulletin board You have to re-register your desired nickname before you get access to the beta section and to post messages.

Thanks for the lively discussions at this forum, and I hope you will enjoy the new community site as well.

John Strandabo
Support Manager, Oslo Studio, Funcom Customer Service

-Our Doublegold does AO site should be available with the site's v2.0 revamp on Monday or Tuesday.

AC Updates...
-The servers went backup at 11:15 am yesterday (PST). No official word from Turbine on what they fixed, or did not fix.

-New content (thanks to Maggie at for getting this info so fast!... visit her site for the full details!)

....Quickly Told....

-New undies
-Vendors now wear aprons.
-Component Buyer installed (Yee!)
-(Another) New Mage Quest
-Humans return to Ayan Baqur (just in time to see PC's leave)
-New Dungeon... Inculcation Cells 68.7S, 62.6W.
-New Trophy Helm from Niffis.
-Cool towel tribute to Hitchhikers author Douglas Adams.
-New Lifestone... Danby's Outpost - 24.1N, 28.1W
-New rank 7 Creature spells.

Plus loads of other things... like I said for the very best coverage of AC's Chains of Command event, visit Maggie's update page here.


-Chainsaw got back to me on the interview just recently.  Expect that to be posted sometime this weekend.  Thanks Chainsaw!

-Nic Lidstrom won the Norris Trophy!   W00t!  Eat THAT Chris Pronger, you mangled f-ck!!

-I'm emailing Scott Kurtz regarding our Boobology yesterday.  Stay tuned for that update!

God that's it, this is a weak post.  Damn upgrade is creeping up on me.  I'm out. (fenris)


JUNE 15th 2001 - AO and AC Patchday, PvP Boobwatch, the Best DG Pictures ever!
If you play AC like I know a lot of our readers do,or if you're an Anarchy Online beta tester like me and Stryker, there was much to be discussed.  Lets get on it...

Funcom brought down the US Live server this morning to upgrade to version 11.2.  I was asleep while this happened, but from what Stryker told me and from what I would discover later on, this patch was nigh a disaster.  I don't know the exact figures, but a good chunk of the beta clients (including both I and Stryker) had problems with the patch, as it told them (us) that they (we) had corrupted files.  As I tweaked with my files, AO even went as far as to tell me that I had to reinstall the program, which promptly summoned a, "F-ck that" from me.

Thanks to the somewhat flaky, but strengthening AO community though that eventually sent me in the right direction and on the road to fixing the patch errors.  These two posts helped me out a great deal, thanks to Campbell on the official AO board:

I'm not playing up the fact that you should run and get these downloads though, because as I type this, the server is down again with yet another patch upgrade.  I assume this is to fix the rather obvious and aggravating errors 11.2 had, but also to perhaps to fix the mission generators which seem to be, in  a word, f-cked.  I tried several missions trying to repair the radar and none worked.  I got some great l3wt on those runs, but my real target was the mission reward, a token that would allow Ghin to move up a title level.  In AO, your skills start to cap out at certain levels until you change you're title, or rank... so as Ghin's martial arts skills have capped out, I really wanted to get that token and it only seemed to come as a reward to frickin fix-the-radar missions... which don't work... crapzorz.  Hopefully this will be fixed soon.  Anyway, here was the official Funcom message that came with the 11.2 patch:

Changes from 11.1 to 11.2

- Improved stability - A bug that made items disappear has been fixed. If you still lose items after upgrading to version 11.2, please file bug reports at once.

No mention of f-xzoring the mission gens.  I guess we'll see what the hot fix patch is for in a bit.

In other AO news, Funcom also announced that the server would be going down on Friday to upgrade the servers, and Saturday would be their uber-stress test day.   Here's the official word:

"There will be a scheduled downtime on the Anarchy Servers Friday 15th of June from 1pm GMT. This is due to an upgrade of hardware in the servers. The expected downtime will be 6 hours!

We will run a stress test of the servers Saturday 16th of June at 10pm GMT. What we need from your is that as many as possible of you log into the game and play it like normal. We will monitor the servers and see what they do and where we can improve on performance. We will run the test at least a couple of hours. There will be GMs ingame to help with any problems you may have."

I'll be working at that time, but here's hoping for lots of lag folks!  Good luck!

Finally, two quick screenshots I got during my brief time on...

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Ghin lays the smack down on OT scum!
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Another dress found by Ghin... a black Oriental style.  Awesome!

The AC June patch seemed to go off without a hitch.  There was a lot of cool changes, and some changes that will tick some players off.  Most interesting is the code put in the game to detect players using "Gear"or speedhack.  Now while this was a long time coming, the new detection software was causing some bugs in the game and the servers were brought back down.  Brought down hard.  This was the word from Turbine/Microsoft's the State of the Network involving the downtime:

Current Server Status:
UPDATE: Thursday, June 14: 1:30 PM PDT
ETA -- Friday, June 15th: 1:00 PM PDT

(9:00 PM PDT) We have identified a set of bugs causing today's server crashes; they result from the functionality we put in to help us detect speed-altering programs. We are working non-stop to fix these bugs, but it will take some time. We continue to be dedicated to giving players an environment free from programs that alter a character's speed and animation which, as a result, may hurt server performance. We apologize for the extended downtime required for fixing these bugs and sincerely appreciate all the patience that the players have shown today. -- The AC Team

Recent estimates say the servers will be back up around noon (12 pm) Pacific time.  For more details on this very complex and interesting patch, click here for the rollout article, and here for the buildnotes.  Here is a look at June's Portal.dat icon files as well... make of it what you will.

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For great patch info, visit Maggie the Jackcat's page here!

PvP Online... In Depth Research
I am an avid reader of Scott Kurtz' PvP as many of you know.  I have been following it since 1999 and have watched Scott go from part time doodler to a full fledged cartoonist and businessman.  I have also see his art style change drastically, and always for the better.  Tiny improvement were his trademark, except when it came to Jade Fontaine.  Jade received this infamous makeover in 1999 going from bizarre Big Bird clone, to hottie.  Slowly, Jade got better looking as Scott got better at his trade.. but recently as PvP loaded up (as it is my homepage on IE 5.0), I exclaimed to Stryker, "God, is it me or are Jade's boobs getting bigger?"  Jesus they were!  Maybe it was just an anomaly, so I let it pass.  But then today's strip was put up and again... big boobs!!   I'm not kidding here folks, and to prove it, I've taken a cross section of Jade pictures to scientifically prove my point.  Observe!

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This is Jade in 1999, just after her first makeover.
Very normal boobage

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June 2000, slightly bigger, but nothing crazy.

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From recent weeks.  Now you're seeing it, huh?  Need more proof?

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From today's strip.  Very noticeable, and undeniable.

So what's the deal here?  Did Jade get surgery?  Just what the heck is going on?  Kurtz cannot deny the conspiracy... Jade has bigger boobs.   That's the bottomline.  I will find you answers, loyal reader, even if I have to go to the man himself.  I want straight facts and straight answers... Scott cannot deny the truth... science has proven everything!

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Ahem... with that aside, lets move on...

If you've been with this site the entire month its been running, I'm sure you've seen some of the wacky, stupid and sometimes scandalous pictures we've posted here.  Well, to keep them at your beck and call, I've archived them on a page in our Funny, Funny Sh-t section for your "enjoyment".  Take warning, the page is very graphics intense and may take awhile to load for slodem users.   Click here for the page.


-There's a new Friendly Fire up. Now while many of you will get the lag issues, the punchline will be lost on you.   Needless to say, this person is the target of much frustration from internet users throughout our hometown, so while only a select few readers will get it, the rest of you can take joy in knowing that Edge [E&C] and Christian [E&C] would happily wipe out your ISP's customer service rep.

-I've got some good ideas for new feature sections on the page when v2.0 goes up, including a Hot/Cold section and Top 5 lists for mine and Stryker's favourite games.  Unfortunately as our workload increases, the likelihood that our flopping Movies section will get the axe is increasing.  If anyone is interested in taking over / revamping the Movies section, email me here.

-News posts from June 1st to June 14th have been archived.  Click on the link at the bottom of this page to see our old news.

-I may or may not throw in some other news as the day continues, mainly concerning the AO and AC patch updates and server downtimes.  Stay tuned.

Until then, ciao. (fenris)

-New Friendly Fire
-New Archives
-New Funny, Funny Sh-t


JUNE 14th 2001 - 9 out of 10 Beta testers prefer AO to Real life
Another very short news update, so short in fact that there's no headline news.  I'm just gonna fire the tidbits at you and hope you'll forgive me.  Me is tired.


-There are pretty much confirmed rumours that the new AC patch is going to nerf vendor buy rates so that no merchant will buy things over 90% cost.  That means the great days of the 127% smiths in Fort Teth and Ayan are over as far as we know.  While I myself see no problem with this, I always had more money than needed, some people are really pissed off, especially the folks doing the money run from the Mayoi mage tower to Ayan.

-the Max Payne website has gone live.  You can see that here.

-Please stop entering the Great AC Giveaway... the contest ended Monday night as I thought we made plainly clear.   Thanks for your interest though, and check back on DG when we run our next contest (in the next week or so).

-Ghin and Drzaius had some good quality killing time this morning on Anarchy Online, Ghin is at lvl 11 now and just picked up a piece of tank armor.   For those of you who don't know what this is, this awesome piece of metal is wearable over regular armor.  Little Ghin is now a Kung Fu tank!

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You can't see well it here, but after Ghin and Drzaius attacked this OT camp, they all started fighting each other! We just walked in and finished the rest off.
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Pretty dress!  Ghin got a wedding dress as a mission reward!

-Work is going along nicely for Doublegold version 2.0.  Upon release of that site, you can expect our feature interview, an AO preview plus a look at our AO page.

-There's a new Friendly Fire up... it's rather bizarre, but hell it's funny.  Sorry for not updating our Firearms page lately, but obviously we're taking our jobs as AO beta testers very seriously these days.  We'll look into a few FA games when Funcom takes our toys away till retail.

-My Nashville Predators started the 2003 playoffs tonight in NHL 2001, facing Vancouver.  Man the Canucks have had my number all year, and the series was a hard fought 6 game affair that had me screaming at my computer, berating my players and finally having it all come together with a solid 2-0 win in Game 6 at GM Place in Vancouver.  Next round sees us up against the overpowered Detroit Redwings.   Yikes.  Should be good.

-Keep the votes coming in the Rumble!!

-This page is getting way huge I know... I'll archive the S-O-B soon.

Sorry for the rank news post today, I promise I PROMISE to spend a bit more time on it tomorrow.  There's just not enough hours in a day.

-New Friendly Fire

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