LORDS OF THE REALM 2 PUBLISHER:
Sierra / Impressions
WEBSITE: No one fucking knows
YEAR: 1996
After about two drinks, and my eyes start to wander around a bit, and
the colors seem to majestically flow together, this is the time folks! This is the time to
take our your copy of Lords of the Realm 2, and start to play this hunk o' shit.
I've tasted malt liquor better than this game, but hey that's just me, or
maybe its the whiskey talking?
I am not sure if anyone has played both LOTR 1 & 2 as much (or little) as I have,
but the coolest and probably the best feature of the first game, was the
fact that you were able to CUSTOM build your castle. From
how high you want certain walls, to the size of your moat, turrets placements, halls,
living quarters, you name it and you could do it!!! I spent most of my time designing my
castles to be the most bad ass ones in the realm.
So what did they they for LOTR2? Expand on this feature of greatness or did they invite
Ted McGinley over for tea and crumpets and let him design the castle
features? Cause for those of you who haven't played it, in Numero 2, you can
only select a few pre-designed castles, no custom building!!!! And on top of that,
they castles they have, suck. And now I don't mean 2 dollar hooker down the street
suck, or a bottle of week old open beer taste suck, I mean Ted 'Muther fucking' McGinley
sucks. They fucked with the best feature they had going.
So for any future game developers out there, listen up and listen good. Custom
building castles is like getting a bottle of whiskey for free, I mean you can't
go wrong!
I give this game 1/10 McGinley heads.

Stryker
(fenris notes - Like I have any fucking idea why we review LOTR2, but Stryker drinks
alot, so whatever. I'll go with the one out of ten. I've never even heard of
this game before.) |