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[version 2.1 July 2001 - site est. May, 2001]

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   arrow.gif (824 bytes) REVIEWS
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   arrow.gif (824 bytes) DG RUMBLE
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Firearms mod for HL

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Maggie the Jackcat's

contenthead.gif (956 bytes) THE USUAL SUSPECTS
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All site related info and text is 2001 J. Meinzer and J. Uchman unless otherwise noted. Games and their prospective logos, slogans and images are their prospective companies.  Yeti doesn't have my stick Bob.  I still hate Peter Forsberg.  Mushroom power.  Scissors, scissors...


PUBLISHER:   Sierra / Impressions

WEBSITE:  No one fucking knows

YEAR: 1996

After about two drinks, and my eyes start to wander around a bit, and the colors seem to majestically flow together, this is the time folks! This is the time to take our your copy of Lords of the Realm 2, and start to play this hunk o' shit.    I've tasted malt liquor better than this game, but hey that's just me, or maybe its the whiskey talking?

I am not sure if anyone has played both LOTR 1 & 2 as much (or little) as I have, but the coolest and probably the best feature of the first game, was the fact that you were able to CUSTOM build your castle.  From how high you want certain walls, to the size of your moat, turrets placements, halls, living quarters, you name it and you could do it!!! I spent most of my time designing my castles to be the most bad ass ones in the realm.

So what did they they for LOTR2? Expand on this feature of greatness or did they invite    Ted McGinley over for tea and crumpets and let him design the castle features?   Cause for those of you who haven't played it, in Numero 2, you can only select a few pre-designed castles, no custom building!!!!  And on top of that, they castles they have, suck.  And now I don't mean 2 dollar hooker down the street suck, or a bottle of week old open beer taste suck, I mean Ted 'Muther fucking' McGinley sucks.   They fucked with the best feature they had going.

So for any future game developers out there, listen up and listen good.  Custom building castles is like getting a bottle of whiskey for free, I mean you can't go wrong!

I give this game 1/10 McGinley heads.

This game obviously sucks


(fenris notes - Like I have any fucking idea why we review LOTR2, but Stryker drinks alot, so whatever.  I'll go with the one out of ten.  I've never even heard of this game before.)