the Drunken Monk Adventures:


the Drunken Monk


    Born in the BOOMTOWN of Shoushi, DM spent his initial time trying to find people.  And beer.  His initial money went to buy beer... and to buy that lovely kasa.  Then it was out of the Shoushi starter area and on to the main town!   He made a stop along the way to a) Kill a rabbit and b) Use his l33t cooking skill to make an apple pie... a move that would significantly change his future!  How you ask?  Observe...

Selling pies for beer

    Yes, within minutes he was in the tavern spending all his hard earned pyreal on beer.  As we could see, DM was rapidly turning into a one dimensional character... was it only beer that he loved?  He needed depth, he needed personality, he needed...



    After much portal hopping, DM reached a dead end in Yaraq, or one of those unremarkable Gharu'ndim towns.  After some dealings with the locals, our man in the Kasa found himself going through a portal to Fort Tethana.  THE Fort Teth.   FORT TETH!!

---Personal aside...  for those that don't know, Ft Teth is smack dab in one of the worst parts of the Direlands.  Drudges.  Banderlings.  Gold Phyntos Wasps.  These things all hit you hard... HARD... like without armor, you can get critical hits for 100+ damage.  100!!  So if you're not aware, that's a lot.  Especially when you have this many hitpoints:

5 friggin hit points!

5    F R I G G I N '    H I T     P O I N T S ! ! !

    Anyway, back to our adventures.  Using his cunning wiles, DM got to Ft Teth to find it... utterly devoid of life!?  Yes, it was after all a patch night... people were scared, but a few brave souls were in town for him to interact with.. and bother.

Begging for pyreals

    Excellent!  Suddenly the cash was pouring in.. but what was this?  The crap in Ft Teth is like 3,500 X more than any other town!   Trying to save up for a good beer tankard was nearly impossible.  Even looting the dead fish and lead scarabs littering the grounds outside the town barely earned him cash... what could he do!? 

Beg more!

Begging still.. and receiving!

    A spear!  It almost doubled DM's cash!  He never got a fez though, but really, he did love his Kasa.  Begging was working!  It was!   The next day, he tried some new tactics.  He needed... a calling!

I'm a bartender

    A bartender!  DM would become the beloved bartender of Fort Tethana!  After someone trained a black rat on him, DM had Krulin deliver some beer to him to sell.

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Curse you Buzzed!  You're a very mean person!
Watch how DM screamed like a girl when he saw the rat coming.

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    A few deaths aside, DM was building a thriving business as a bartender.  How thriving?  Selling Small Beer for 500 bucks a pop!   The rich folks in Teth seemed to have endless flows of cash for our pathetic little friend, who was turning into quite the salesman.

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    Still, some people in Teth didn't carry V notes or have the pyreals kicking around.  DM became for and more a salesman as time went on, and was accomodating to such potential patrons!

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    No, he didn't get the GSA he asked for, but he did make about 13,000 pyreals selling only about 8 beers in his first day.  Is DM on to the biggest money making deal in Dereth?!  Will sales of DM beer go through the roof?  Will he ever get revenge on the evil black rats of Fort Teth?!?!  Stay tuned...

~~Drunken Monk's things to Do list:

-Have black rat killed (hire a hit man)
-Sell beer
-Scam someone out of their GSA by getting them drunk
-Get armor... being 2 hit by black rats just will not do!